Understanding Conflict

What is the cause of fights that lead to Church splits? What is the cause of fights that lead to divorce? What is the cause of fights that sometimes end in death? As I was studying this passage for my sermon I couldn't help reflecting on my younger days and fights I had with my brother. As I examined those fights under the light of God's word, I concluded that the reason I fought had nothing to do with defending myself nor was it because he hit me first. The reason I fought had everything to do with my fallen sinful nature. The reason I fought was because I wanted things to go my way.
That was the focus of James question to his readers in Chapter 4:1-4. What is the cause of fights and quarrels among you? The tone of James letter is very strong and he is very direct. James is an advocate for personal responsibility and mutual accountability.

If we want to be successful in dealing with the fights and quarrels that we encounter, we must understand some things about fights and quarrels.

Here is my outline for verses 1-4 "Understanding Fights and Quarrels":

I. First thing we need to understand about Fights and Quarrels is that they are just surface issues.
Vs. 1a. What causes fights and quarrels among you?

The word James uses for Fights refer to actual armed conflict, it carries a violent image. The word quarrels refer to battles without material weapons; this includes fighting with words.
Often times our focus is on the fighting itself but James lets us know that there is a deeper issue that we need to give attention to.

II. The Deeper issue is our desires.
Vs 1b-2b. Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?

Desires:
a. Upset because you can't have your way.
Vs 2. You want something but don't get it.

b. You want what you want at any cost.
Vs 2b. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what
you want. You quarrel and fight.

III. The Deeper issue is our Motives.
Vs 2c-3. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

IV. The Fundamental Problem is Unfaithfulness
Vs. 4. You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

When we fight and quarrel with one another, we are doing what we did in the world. It becomes more about us then about God. Whenever it is not about God, that is unfaithfulness and therein lies the problem.

God will hold us responsible for our actions. Next week, we will look at practical steps for dealing with these issues.